This time last year, I was worried that Jer and I would never be able to have babies. This year, we are celebrating our baby's first Christmas. What a difference a year makes. Only my closest friends and family know this, but Jer and I actually started 'trying' to have a baby on our honeymoon. We had never really talked about having kids until after we got engaged. We both always knew we wanted kids, but it was something that was in the distant future, or so I thought.
One night while we were laying in bed right after we had gotten engaged, (yes, we lived together BEFORE we were married, GASP! ;)) Jer just all of a sudden said, 'So, are you going to go off of your birth control once we get married'. I was like 'say what??' I told him I hadn't even thought about it, I was so wrapped up in graduating college and planning the wedding that kids were not at all in the picture. After he said that one sentence, babies were the only thing on my brain. I was so excited Jer wanted to have babies right away, so we decided that after we were married (May 2009) we would start trying. In Jer's words we weren't actively trying but we were not not trying to get pregnant, he wanted to just go with the flow and see what happened. Yeah... that worked for about a month and then I became obsessed.
After about 7 months of trying and not one positive pregnancy test, I think I started to become depressed. I had quit my job in July because it was horrible, I couldn't find a journalism job to save my life and I was NOT getting pregnant even though we were now actively trying and doing everything 'right'. To top it off, it seemed like people all around me were getting pregnant.
Jer's hope or faith never wavered and he would tell me every month after I had taken my umpteenth negative pregnancy test that 'it would happen when it was supposed to'. Now, I really believe that to be true. Literally, the week we found out we were pregnant (end of January 2010) was when I got a job as a substitute teacher (best job i've ever had!) and the week we were supposed to start getting tests done to make sure we were A-OK in the reproductive department.
I have been wanting to write this post for a while just to get it off of my chest and to just say how thankful I am to my rock of a husband. This year is so different from last and I have proof (15 pounds of proof to be exact) of how powerful prayer and positive thinking (on Jer's part) is. Especially at this time of year, I see how Christmas is not only a time for gift giving, but a time to be thankful for Jesus and the gifts and blessings He bestows on us. I never truly knew or appreciated Him until I held my Owen. Owen is my greatest joy and greatest blessing and I could never thank Him enough for giving Jer and I the blessing of a baby at 'just the right time'.
Sorry if this post is super sappy, but I can't help it. Although I do have bad days where Owen hasn't napped and I have a million things to get done and haven't so much as brushed my teeth, I think back to last year, when all I wanted was a positive pregnancy test. I couldn't bare the thought of logging onto Facebook and seeing someone else announce their pregnancy, or I would lose it. Now I have all of this love, stuffed into a 0-3 month onesie, swinging peacefully in his rainforest swing and I could not be happier.
Members of my family have asked me repeatedly what I want this year for Christmas and it is hard to come up with 'things' because honestly, what more is there when I have the face of my child looking up at me every single morning?
I hope everyone finds their joy, no matter what or who it is. Merry Christmas.