Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Christmas Baby

This time last year, I was worried that Jer and I would never be able to have babies. This year, we are celebrating our baby's first Christmas. What a difference a year makes. Only my closest friends and family know this, but Jer and I actually started 'trying' to have a baby on our honeymoon. We had never really talked about having kids until after we got engaged. We both always knew we wanted kids, but it was something that was in the distant future, or so I thought.

One night while we were laying in bed right after we had gotten engaged, (yes, we lived together BEFORE we were married, GASP! ;)) Jer just all of a sudden said, 'So, are you going to go off of your birth control once we get married'. I was like 'say what??' I told him I hadn't even thought about it, I was so wrapped up in graduating college and planning the wedding that kids were not at all in the picture. After he said that one sentence, babies were the only thing on my brain. I was so excited Jer wanted to have babies right away, so we decided that after we were married (May 2009) we would start trying. In Jer's words we weren't actively trying but we were not not trying to get pregnant, he wanted to just go with the flow and see what happened. Yeah... that worked for about a month and then I became obsessed.
After about 7 months of trying and not one positive pregnancy test, I think I started to become depressed. I had quit my job in July because it was horrible, I couldn't find a journalism job to save my life and I was NOT getting pregnant even though we were now actively trying and doing everything 'right'. To top it off, it seemed like people all around me were getting pregnant.

Jer's hope or faith never wavered and he would tell me every month after I had taken my umpteenth negative pregnancy test that 'it would happen when it was supposed to'. Now, I really believe that to be true. Literally, the week we found out we were pregnant (end of January 2010) was when I got a job as a substitute teacher (best job i've ever had!) and the week we were supposed to start getting tests done to make sure we were A-OK in the reproductive department.

I have been wanting to write this post for a while just to get it off of my chest and to just say how thankful I am to my rock of a husband. This year is so different from last and I have proof (15 pounds of proof to be exact) of how powerful prayer and positive thinking (on Jer's part) is. Especially at this time of year, I see how Christmas is not only a time for gift giving, but a time to be thankful for Jesus and the gifts and blessings He bestows on us. I never truly knew or appreciated Him until I held my Owen. Owen is my greatest joy and greatest blessing and I could never thank Him enough for giving Jer and I the blessing of a baby at 'just the right time'.

Sorry if this post is super sappy, but I can't help it. Although I do have bad days where Owen hasn't napped and I have a million things to get done and haven't so much as brushed my teeth, I think back to last year, when all I wanted was a positive pregnancy test. I couldn't bare the thought of logging onto Facebook and seeing someone else announce their pregnancy, or I would lose it. Now I have all of this love, stuffed into a 0-3 month onesie, swinging peacefully in his rainforest swing and I could not be happier.
Members of my family have asked me repeatedly what I want this year for Christmas and it is hard to come up with 'things' because honestly, what more is there when I have the face of my child looking up at me every single morning?

I hope everyone finds their joy, no matter what or who it is. Merry Christmas.

XOXO Haley


  1. This was the sweetest post ever. Thanks for making me tear up on the couch! I am so happy for you and Jeremy and your beautiful bundle of love. What a blessing after all of that trying and praying, God is SO good. Your sweet Owen makes me unbelievably excited for when it is our turn!

  2. God's timing is perfect! His Sovereignty is so amazing!

    I can imagine your frustration- when you got preg, I knew over 20 people that were preg- I know it must have been hard for you. I have never known so many people to be preg at one time!

    I can't believe he weighs 15lbs! Annie weighs 17. Ok, she is super tiny- but I never notice this until I compare her to other babies! lol

  3. It's really hard to see the big picture when your heart desires something so bad. I can completely relate but everything happens for a reason. God had a plan and now you have sweet baby Owen. It was worth the wait! :) I know it will be that way for us as well.

    Thank you so much for sharing! xoxo

  4. you are so precious, love that you shared this. isn't it amazing how much you love that baby boy? only God could create something so miraculous according to His perfect plan!

  5. This was such a special post! Thank you for sharing! I was watching giuliana and bill today in tears. I can not imagine the heartbreak couples face. I was told I would have issues getting pregnant so when Kane surprised us he really did! Babies are such a blessing. I'm so glad you have Owen this year to celebrate christmas! You are adorable and so is your little boy!!!

  6. What a beautiful post! I hope you'll keep your blog posts so one day Owen can read through and understand what life was like before him. AND to see how much he's loved =)

  7. I remember Ivy telling me y'all were trying when we were all at Lopez that time when Liam was a little bitty baby, must have been probably August or September of 2009? I was so excited for y'all when you got pregnant not too terribly long afterwards, because I know from personal experience there's nothing like finding out you're pregnant after thinking you weren't capable of getting pregnant, or being told you would have trouble.

    I am so happy for you and your hubby, y'all are truly made to be parents-- Owen is one lucky little fella!

  8. awww!!! i love everything about this post! it reminds me exactly to a T of how i felt this time of year when Gray was born! the most unbelievable thing in the world! love you and your sweet hubby and your angel boy!

  9. sweetest post in the world! you are precious...and worsening my baby fever ;) xoxo

  10. LOVE this post, so brave of you to share. I think you shared it at the perfect timing, right at Christmas when people need to realize the importance of Christmas and God's blessings.

  11. What an incredible post Haley! It warmed my heart to read this, and how brave of you to share your wonderful story. Your little angel baby is just precious. Merry Christmas to your sweet family. xoxo

  12. You and your family are so beautiful. I'm so happy for the countless blessings you have and that you are a part of my life. My only sadness is that I don't live closer to see you more often. Love you!

  13. Catching up on you blog...

    I completely relate to what you said and it is so incredibly amazing to have the perfect gift at the perfect time. You've heard the "right time" speech a million times, and it's so hard to see until you're looking back. Lizzie was actually 4 years in the making, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

    Owen is beautiful. It gives me such joy to see a beaming mama too!